Today I’m talking about a topic I’m passionate about – stress and fertility.  Before I start the next series of videos on this topic, I would love to talk about what might come up for you as you watch them.  When you are on the fertility journey, you might find yourself getting triggered by different things and desiring to be “perfect” with all the recommendations that get tossed around. 

You might find yourself saying “I should” …. eat better, work out, meditate, get a massage, take more supplements and climb a mountain to improve my fertility. 

We, as women, have a natural ability to strive to be the “perfect women”.  You might know what I mean.  Perfect women does not have problems.  She knows to say the right thing at the right time.  She can read minds and find the perfect doctor.  She eats this amazing diet, loves working out and looks good without any effort. 

The “perfect women” is a response to stress.  It’s partially how we cope with a situation that feels out of control or beyond our comfort zone.  She may get triggered as we explore different topics.

Perfect women exist in each of us.  She’s hard, harsh and critical of our actions, intent and ability to be the best we can be.

You’ll know when she’s around, because sentences pop in your head like….

“I should eat better.”

“I should be asking my doctor more questions.”

“If I could work out three times a week, I would be healthier.”

“I should work harder to get pregnant.”

What may follow from hearing “perfect women” is a sense of tension in the body, overwhelm in the mind, disappointment or failure in your heart. 

When any of these sensations come up, you may have a need to take on more, change more or twist yourself into a pretzel to “make things better” according to her standard.  You may integrate one component of the journey fabulously.  Then the you set the bar higher for yourself by thinking it should be that way for all the components of trying to get pregnant.

What to do when “perfect women” appears?

  1. Only take on what resonates with you.  The parts you know you can change.  Change only the parts of yourself that don’t force you to contort into a knot. 
  2. Avoid expectations of yourself, which pull you down or feel you can’t satisfy with your accomplishments.  More than likely “perfect women” has taken control and is driving you to make decisions.  Decisions which are not in your best interest, drain your energy or feel unsatisfied.
  3. It’s ok to let go of “perfect women” mentality.  Don’t beat yourself up.  Remember to belly breath.  Tell her to move along.  The best of who you are is making decisions and not her. 

So, if you find yourself getting triggered, let it go of the idea you need to take on all these changes to get pregnant.  Let the information come to you, sit with you, percolate it in your mind.  It’s all just information.  Then make a decision if something is right for you. When a change resonates with you, then it’s the right decision for you. 

Wishing you the best on the journey.